Get these people out of my house!


 normally live with my husband John and our beagle Charlie, but occasionally we have quite a bit of company. Like now. The lights are on in the living room (it's broad daylight), the dog is snoozing near me (his usual occupation) and I am in my room trying to escape the chaos I can't see. I can't tell how many are here. When I ask John, he just mumbles a response. 

John has Parkinsons, and it has affected him cognitively. So this is the third time in 2 months these hallucinations have occurred. How do I deal with it? My gut twists up, I get anxious, and worried that he will do something stupid. The first time he had an episode, he opened the front door in the middle of the night to make 'them' leave, and set off the alarm. When the police responded, I had to explain what was going on. The officer said "I'm sorry for what you are going through." That was so kind of him.

These hallucinations last 3-4 days and is awful to live through for both of us. He gets disoriented, confused, agitated, skewed vision, drools like crazy, and his face and eyes look different. There is no spark of life in those eyes when this occurs.

Yesterday (day 3) I dragged him to the grocery store. I made sure he took a paper towel in case he started to drool. I also got snappy with him, (because after 3 days of sympathetic sweet caregiving, I'd had my fill of it and the resentment was starting to build). I told him we needed to get in, get stuff and get out - (famous last words). I just left him in one of the aisles while he was transfixed on choices of cookies and continued to shop. He finally caught up with me with various snacks in hand and said "I couldn't find you" - well you found me now, ugh! (Didn't say that, but I sure thought it). 

The rest of the day was trying to keep busy with little things. I called his neurologist's office, and later in the day got a return call from a nurse, had never spoken with him before, he was nice on the phone 14 minutes of telling him everything (for the first time). Then later I get another call from a different nurse, who told me she spoke with the NP who said to continue the Seroquel and they didn't feel a need to do any testing at this point. I told her I didn't accept that, and wanted to determine physical or progression. I had to tell this nurse everything, since the earlier one obviously didn't relate everything to the NP who had her call me. She was very sympathetic at least. So she was going to talk to the NP and someone would get back to me. In the meantime she suggested I contact his GP for a urinalysis/blood test. He is not the most on-board for this stuff, but I requested that late yesterday. Waiting to hear back from both offices. I feel like every time there is an incident I go round in circles with the NP who I feel does not have an understanding of the devastation this is to both of us. She is too clinical. All this adds to my frustration, because I don't believe any of them are going to help us. Maybe it's because they don't know what to do.

So today, I don't feel right about leaving him, so I put off my morning swimming. I am going to try to do something nice for myself and paint. I got a brand new set of watercolors they are professional grade,  and the colors are beautiful. other than that, I'm glad it wont be quite so hot. He is out watering the front yard. He is more like himself today, but there are still remnants of people here. Hopefully by this afternoon, they'll be gone. 

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